Alina writes:
“I live for almost two years in a three WG. A roommate is rather taciturn, a lot of on-the-go and does not care particularly to the budget. A few months ago a new roommate moved in, during the auditions, she seemed normal and friendly.
you enter the WG has changed-life, however, is quite strong: she talks very much and has no sense of which statements are hurtful or me not at all interested in. Now I know about your messed-up Childhood, and their appointments more than I would like.
Even if I go in my room, more talking through the closed door. When I speak to you, is not you are seriously confused, “I’m sorry”.
the other day I was standing with my friend in the hallway and wanted to adopt it. As she came out from her room to ask me if the shoes she had just bought.
Even my Girlfriends will be taken from her and have to listen to your dramas.
You have shared sorrow? Silja Götz living communities are great, the only thing Annoying are the roommate. Empty your Nutella glass , have loud Sex and louder music systems. Or crying in your room is neighboring all the time and depressed? are you Yelling at all? In the case of WG-grief , an education researcher Sabine Stiehler helps. Send us your questions, Concerns, problems to wg-kummer@unispiegel.de. With a submission, you agree with an anonymous publication on SPIEGEL ONLINE, and all the other media of the SPIEGEL group is in agreement.
I don’t have the feeling, that my roommate says anything nasty, but they appreciate social situations is bad and does not see its limits. That’s why I’m not angry at you, but greatly annoyed.
I just want to be like rooms, once again, two minutes in the society, without getting my life commented on, or to learn something out of your life.
I would like to cook with my friends in the kitchen, my roommate pulls the entire attention and all eventually nothing more to say, and I would like to, you can also criticize, without that they immediately a barrel to open. On a new impetus, to make the joint Together more pleasant, I would be very happy.”
*the Name has been changed
To the Person, Amac Garbe Sabine Stiehler relieves the WG-grief of MIRROR ONLINE readers. Stiehler is a PhD Professor of education and directs the psycho-social advice centre at the Studentenwerk Dresden.
Sabine Stiehler answers:
“hi Alina,
you have assessed your roommate well. I don’t think that she means ‘evil’, if you told talks to much, or something Inappropriate.
Here’s only one: you need to make your roommate a clear message. Everything else will take you seriously. You tell her that you need periods of rest, in which you neither talk about nor want to listen to.
you Explain to her how important these times are for you to refuel. Since you need to have a clear position. You can even specify a window of time for the ‘quiet time’, such as between 16 and 18 o’clock.
be Sure to make You announcements. You don’t say: ‘You talk too much for me’, but better: ‘I want to times where it is quiet here.’ Otherwise, you may feel attacked. If you don’t, then you can write like on a piece of paper and hang these in the WG.
More the help of the WG-therapist
Janina has to fear for their roommate, who suffers from mental health problems. Because you might harm himself, dares to Janina, to leave the WG. What can you do?
Carina lives with six men in a WG. As you ask your roommate in order to catch them to bully you. How can you fight back?
Sarah’s roommate is unemployed and hangs out all day in the apartment – as well as his girlfriend. Sarah is totally annoyed. What can you do?
Jacob’s roommate screams in the night, open the door, forgets to switch off the oven and she has an eating disorder. Can Jacob help her?
Lena is new in town and moves into a WG. Roommate Ben is doing a lot with her. But when Lena comes together with a friend of Ben, the problems start. What can he do?
“it’s Only Twitter, then violence”: Jojo has parakeets, four shaft. His roommate and bustle of the birds in the madness. His frustration has been omitted from this only at the cage, then at the living room door – and now?
“My roommate steals food – can I install a camera?”: Since then, the new roommate is drawn in the WG, disappearance of food – and nobody wants to do it. Arabella excites the most. You are now considering to monitor the kitchen. A good idea?
“it’d be like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”: The friendship seems to be at the end. Anne and her roommate can’t. What can you do to Anne?
“My roommate want my girlfriend dressing”: Jonas’ new girlfriend is sleeping almost every night with him in the WG. Now his roommate wants you to regularly clean the bathroom. You must?
“He invites people he barely knows”: Sabina don’t want your roommate to visit is located, if it is gone. But you can ban him?
“My room neighboring the plague is for me”: He tramples across the hall, the doors and sleep with the faucet running. Catherine endures your neighbors in the Dorm. What can you do?
“no one takes care of the cats”: Philipps new roommate gives your cats, too little food, the dish is rarely clean and is not concerned with them. He is overwhelmed. What is he to do?
“Our roommate is drinking too much”: Hans has integrated well into the WG, then he pulls back suddenly, drinking a lot of alcohol and complains to the landlord about the other roommate. What should you do?
“I fell in love with my roommate”: Lena is in love with her roommate. The Problem: she lives now abroad, and he has a girlfriend. How come you by him?
“Our roommate’s food steals”: Johanna and Eva have a new roommate. Since she moved, disappearing food from the refrigerator. What can do both?
If you want to put your roommate just or feel hurt, but not immediately on one of your spells can respond, take you to the side and talk with her. You tell her that you feel hurt, swallow the do not down – otherwise, your frustration builds.
you Explain to her: ‘It has offended me, what you said yesterday.’ Then the Person perceives, at least, once aware of what it triggers in you.
However, I don’t think that will change your roommate. If you don’t want to do this longer, no longer you want to live, then only the separation remains as a consequence.”
